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MORGAN HILL, CA—Having blown through nearly half the titles on the 20-book list in less than two weeks, chronically lonely fourth-grader Logan Parata is currently crushing the Santa Clara County Library’s summer reading program, sources confirmed Wednesday.CHICAGO—Sprinting down the platform and frantically waving his arms, local man Dustin Sayer was reportedly running toward a departing train Wednesday because he must have finally realized he loves her.We’ve rounded up 20 of the best dating apps for lonely singles.Whether you’re looking for a casual fling, true love, an international love affair, or even a threesome, these innovative dating apps will help you find your perfect match.

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Thus, when asking a favor or making a demand, extra letters soften the blow. ” replaces “Thanks so much.” Extra vowels replace intensifiers like “very.” above, letter replication is sexy.

GOODING, ID—In an effort to more accurately assess how hot the food item would be once he began eating it, local man Barney Randolph on Friday reportedly factored the addition of ketchup into his calculation of a french fry’s final temperature.

WEST PALM BEACH, FL – FEBRUARY 14: Karen Brown (L) and Douglas Brown hold hands as they are wed during a group Valentine’s day wedding at the National Croquet Center on February 14, 2013 in West Palm Beach, Florida.

Female “word elongation” is the topic of an Atlantic article and an academic study this week.

“When people talk, they use intonation in a number of varied and subtle ways,” a linguist told the Atlantic’s Jen Doll.