I remember several years ago, being about 20 years old, and I was out with a group of girlfriends. At least not compared to the number of men who were interested in my friends. The men seemed interested in my girlfriends, but not me. Not that I was trying to actually figure it out; I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. He pulled his head right back and stepped away from me, taking one step back, literally. I remember walking away from that club where I was at, and weeks later, started to tell myself the boring story about how men don’t want to be in a relationship with me because they were intimidated by me. The reality is that attraction occurs when there is polarity.
After all, women are encouraged to be assertive, accomplished and independent; being told that they’re “intimidating” sounds like they’re being told to take all of that back and pretend to be something less than what they are. Are geek guys finding a woman’s accomplishments to be somehow threatening? Because “intimidating” is so subject to personal interpretation, I thought it was best to go to the source: geek guys.
I bought in to the false idea that ‘men commit to women who are better; women who are achievers’ – which leads to the reality that; As women, our appeal to men in a relationship has nothing to do with how much we achieve; it has everything to do with our soul; and our heart as a woman.
It has everything to do with how kind, loyal and feminine we show up.
It was that I walked around, living my life from this place of thinking that my worth came from being career minded and successful. And yet – it pushed the better men away, because I didn’t need their direction.
And that became a habit; so much so that when i spoke to men, my body was tight, I wasn’t trusting, I was fully set on directing my own life. I wasn’t soft, I was hard and trying to just be enough.